Monday, January 31, 2011

Keeping it Casual Weddings, Begins with Honoring Yourself

Ever since I was a little girl, I had imagined getting married on my Uncle's farm. I loved how I felt when I was there, and I loved the big expansiveness of the land and the sky.

Many years later, I was the Maid of Honor in my best friend's wedding. She had a very nice church wedding, and had a photographer. I was very surprised to find out that the wedding pictures were taken after the wedding. While others were heading to the reception, the wedding party waited and posed. I can see why they did it that way, but I knew I wanted my wedding to be different. I wanted my wedding photos to be natural and in the moment.

I attended another church wedding; that one lasted almost two hours. Whoa, it was longer than a Sunday morning sermon. Note to self; my wedding is going to be short and sweet.

I also saw that some bibles had the word obey in them as part of the wedding vows. What kind of language was that! Marriage is a partnership; it's not about obeying. At least not to me. My vows shall say, Love, Honor, and Cherish.

And that is how it played out. My husband and I had an outdoor wedding on my Uncle's farm. The ceremony was short and sweet. Our vows included the words Love, Honor, and Cherish. (I had the minister look up the text in his bible, when we were planning our wedding.) And family and friends brought their cameras and took impromptu photos. Between them, we had a good selection to choose from that felt very natural. My intended was also in agreement, other than he joked about wearing shorts.

So as you can see, I observed, and I learned, and I imagined. I formed my opinions, my desires, and wants. And that's where honoring yourself comes in.

What kind of wedding do you want? Are you and your fiance on the same page? If not, that's where communication comes in. Best to start with now. You both count.

Here's to a great wedding and a great marriage.

Cheryl Paton

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